THE RUBY BLADE’S COURTSHIP

For untold Eons upon Eons the Fates of Time have kept watch on all Mankind, observing the petty affairs but only rarely caring at all to interfere; yet somehow there existed, within the collective essence, an overall sense of Nobility, thus enabling the Fates, in their own distant manner, to maintain a semblance of the Temporal Balance.

Generation upon generation turned to the Fates of Time for guidance, wisdom, and creative inspiration.  It never occured, however, for the Fates to be asked for the one thing needed for the total maintenance of the Temporal Balance: Justice for All Noble Beings.

Then one day, in the form of a bold-hearted young man, Justice did at last come…

ONE

The grey-blue building stood out like a sore thumb in the otherwise vast alleyway of the Nameless Street where I found myself, albeit inexplicably.

And I didn’t have a single clue as to precisely why.  Not one.

Oh, before we get too far along in this, our little tale, allow me this one moment to intoduce myself.  Epoch’s my name and I guess you could say, somewhat flippantly, that Justice is my game.  Cute, isn’t it?

Okay, enough about me for a while; on with our story.

Wrapping my jet-black cloak about my equally-garbed frame I snuck up to the building’s right side, where upon I chanced to glimpse a side door now slightly open.  Assumedly it was to cool and ventilate the building’s interior.

It was the very moment that I detected the sibilant sounds that damn near sickened my gut and caused me to cringe almost in unadulterated fear.  You ever hear the murmuring of a swarm of drunken, intoxicated insects on a hot July day?  Well, that’s exactly what those unintelligible sounds were.

Those were my first introduction to the slope-jawed, narrow-eyed, hunchback, smelly–things I call the Drools.  How they came into any realm of existence I couldn’t guess, nor did I really wish to find out either.

Putting all my fear and nausea aside I strolled into the building, all the while trying not to throw up due to the malodorous aroma (such as it were).  The idiotic murmurs intensified and out of my insatiable curiosity I strode to the room where, before my blazing Celtic blue eyes, there sat some twenty Drools at a large table, doing who-knows-what.  As I said earlier they had narrow that slanted every which way, lower lips protruding from their sloping jaws with saliva dribbling out, and glazed looks on their–well, “faces” is being kind on my part.

Fortunately, they were so stupidly set in their empty-minded ways they took no notice of me.  As if I give them that opportunity, seeing as how I can use the flows of Space and Time to shield myself–which, to my relief, I did.

And then I saw something I never expected to see in all my long lifetime.

TWO

In front of the Drools’ gathering area I noticed a petite, red-haired, blue-eyed girl (undoubtedly good-looking) being shown to a chair right next to the lowest class of Droll available.  Behind her was a “man” which, in reality, was slightly more than the highest class of Drool–and that’s not saying very much.

The so-called “man” was bald, slightly to averagely tall, had reasonably normal featuers, and was clad in a God-awful black-and-lavender outfit that practically screamed, “Hey, look at me, America!  I’m the Swish!  The Whoopsie!!  Love it, love it!”  In sharp contrast the young woman was “dressed” in what was basically an old-fashioned potato sack.

What I heard next set my teeth on edge.

“Okay, sweetie,” said the Swish in an obnoxiously lisp-twinged voice, “we’re going to show you how to do a good job being a servant for the masses.  And I’m delightfully sure you’ll get along with your peers.”

Peers, he says.  If I wasn’t so sickened by it all, I’d almost laugh my head off.

Presently I stealthily made my way to the table.  Inside my body I shuddered to think what might happen if these–things got their slimy mitts on her.  Of course I knew what the results would be.  I had to move–and it had to be fast!!

Soundlessly I walked up behind the girl then, by using the Powers of Space-Time, I revealed my presence, thereafter grabbing her arm.  She turned to me, seeing her knight rescue her at last.

“Run!!”  I commanded.

And we sped off into the night!

THREE

The moment we fled out of the building we heard the unmistakable sounds of Mr. Swishy Thing calling out to his–well, “troops” would be somewhat accurate.

“Let’s get them, my friends.  We’ll show them.“

Fortunately for us we were too far ahear of the Drools.  But man alive, they were gaining on us.  I had to make my big move–and fast!!

It was then that I noticed a large gathering of crates in the alleyway.

“See those crates behind you?” I said to the girl (who was somewhat frightened).  “Take this and hide!  Now!!”  Flinging off my cloak I gave it to her, and she did as I commanded.

Turning back to face the Drool army, I unsheathed my sword.  And this wasn’t any sword.  It has a ruby blade, black hilt, and jade runes carved throughout.  It was the powerful Tempus Mort, which means “Timeslayer”.

The fight was on and I was hell-bent on winning–at any cost!!

Swiftly I made my way right between the alleyway and the Drools, with Tempus Mort in my hand.  A grim, humorless smile crossed my face.  Tempus Mort’s moment was upon itself.  A low chant began rumbling in my throat.  Man, I was more than ready.

“Timeslayer, do my will.  See thy foes, strike and kill!”

And with that said I swung my blade left and right, thus creating the illusion of a great wall of flame that acted as a force-field.  The Drools, not comprehending what they were seeing, slowly made their way to the fire-wall as if they wanted to touch and play with it in an almost–well, “sexual” manner is a bit too strong.  Gods, were they in for a rude awakening!

The first Drool got too close and, to my relief, was instantly vaporized into powder!  Unfortunately the others didn’t quite get the message.  They somehow managed to get through.  I had to really get tough with them now!

And so I invoked another chant:

“To serve Drools Justice this I must.  Tempus Mort, grind them to dust!”

The Drools were now all over me trying to grab my dark-brown hair.  Insanely I slashed them over and over, all the while watching them crumble into one dust-pile after another.

Then I heard even more of those nauseating sibilant sounds sneak up on me.  I whirled about, and there yet even more Drools.  Where the hell were they coming from?!

Out of total desperation I invoked yet another chant:

“Fates of Time, hear my plea.  Send every Drool into Eternity!!”

Then suddenly every Drool, both living and atomized, found themselves lifted off the ground into the air.  Higher and higher they flew until, at a certain point, I gestured with my hands, creating a gigantic bubble around them.  Soon I made a throwing motion, sending them on their way.  And then–total chaos!!   The energy sphere housing the Drools erupted into a powerful burst of light that was seen for miles around.

In spite of my efforts I had a feeling that they would return.

FOUR

Worn out from the battle with the Drools I turned back to the crate-pile, where my lady-friend was still in hiding.  Presently I gently removed my cloak.

“Come on out.  You’re safe,” I said to her, as she trembled slightly.  She stood up, rather uneasily at first.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Oh, just a friend.  Just a friend,” I replied.

She eyed me in a skeptical manner.

“I–well, I’d like to thank you for getting me away from those–things.“

“Well, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I might do a good deed, and so I decided to rescue you.  Oh, by the way, what’s your name?”

She hesitated  before replying.

“I am Princess Pamelyn of the Realm of Ferdina.  Now what’s your name?” she said to me in a slightly haughty manner.

I don’t know why I answered in the weird way I but…

“My real name I do not recall, nor my home or my love.  Yet for she I will always fall far from Grace above.”

Princess Pamelyn then asked, “Who is this ‘she’ you just mentioned?”

“It’s–well, it’s somewhat complicated. Now…getting back to the present, how did you find yourself thrown in with the Drools?”

“It’s all on account of my family.  See, they wanted to ‘humble’ me into believeing that I wasn’t above everybody else in my realm.  As if I ever thought that.  Well, anyway they decided to teach me a lesson and so, late one day my parents–well, my father snuck into my room, grabbed me, and whisked me off to that building where you found and rescued me.  Do you know what they were about to do to me?”

“I’m afraid to guess,” I said, shuddering.

She paused dramatically before continuing.

“They were about to ‘experiment’ on me,” she answered, becoming sickened in the process.

“You don’t have anything to worry about any longer.  You stick with me, and I’ll personally see that you remain safe.  And if any more Drools, or their swish-bag ‘leader’ for that matter, show up again then brother, that’ll be all they wrote.  Now,” I said, “let’s go get something to refresh ourselves.  I know a great little place.”

“Where?” she asked, giving out a wry half-smile.

I paused before saying out my reponse, just to catch my breath.

“You ever hear of a pub called The Last Refuge?” I said.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Princess,” I laughingly replied, “you haven’t seen anyone yet.”

And so, our arms linked together, we strode off.

FIVE

We arrived at The Last Refuge unmolested, with no Drools in our path.  Stepping inside, we were met by the down-home bartender.  Try, if you can, to imagine a slightly older guy, who happens to look like Don Henley, in lumberjack clothes, wiping out drink glasses till his patrons show up, and you’ll have a good idea of–well, Don.  That’s right, it’s his name.  A really nice guy, too.

“Hi, Don.  How’s it going?” I asked casually.

Without looking up he replied, “Oh, no trouble at all.”

“Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same.  See, my lady princess and I had a of a hassle of the ‘dribbling’ variety, if you get my menaing.”

“Ahem,” interrupted Pamelyn rather insistently.

“Oh, Don, speaking of my lady friend I’d like you to meet Princess Pamelyn, of the Realm of Ferdina,” I said, now remembering my manners.

“Hello,” curtseyed Princess Pamelyn.

“Howdy, princess.  Now…what’ll you have?”

“Two liquid lights, no oversweets.  On me, as usual,” I said.

“Okay, coming up, ol’ buddy.”

The moment we received our drinks we found a booth and sat down.  I needed the rest so that I could recharge my powers.  Like I said, the battle really took a lot out of me.

It was then that Princess Pamelyn began really questioning me.

“How did you really know about that building and about those–whatever you call them.  Drools, wasn’t it?  How did you know?”

I didn’t have the heart or nerve to answer.  At least not at first.

“Well?!?” she persisted in asking.

I sighed heavily, unsure whether I should answer her or not.  Of course, I gave in to her.

“As I said earlier, it’s really complicated but I think you ought to know that I’m not from this Realm,” I stated flatly.

She looked at me incredulously, as if she’d thought I was insane or lying.

“Not from this Realm, huh?  Then where are you from?”

Once again I hesitated in replying.

“Well…you see, I’m from another Realm. In fact my Home Realm is somewhere in the Time Beyond Time, where we tend to live out mundane lives.  On the other hand, and speaking for myself I led a varied life. Quite varied, at that.”

Pamelyn gave another skeptical look, albeit one less sure of itself.

“Well…” she said, “okay, I believe you.  That’s to say, I’ll give you the benefit of a doubt.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter all that much to me if at all.”

“It doesn’t, huh?” I asked.

She smiled, giggling slightly.

“No, silly, it doesn’t.  You know why it doesn’t mean anything?”

“Uh, no.”

“It’s because I really like you.”  And with that said she gave a kiss to me.  I smiled.  Then I resumed my train of thought.

“Now, Princess, let me ask you this.  What’s with the potato you’re wearing?”

She thought at first, then quickly answered.

“Oh, this,” she said, looking down.  “Well, this wasn’t my idea.  It was–“

“Yeah, I know.  Your parents’ idea of ‘humbling’ you.  I don’t think you’ll be needing this on you.  I’d like to know the real you underneath.”  Drawing out Tempus Mort I invoked another chant, which I had to word very carefully:

“Beauty of Princess, hidden in plain sight, release it now into Time’s True Light.”

Instantly the drab and somewhat laughable potato sack morphed itself into a radiantly elegant apparel that accentuated her beauty and figure so much it could put Edgar Rice Burroughs’ space princesses to shame.  Which, I’m sure, it would have, too.

“Wow!!” she said, smiling.  “I feel great!  Thank you.”

I couldn’t help smiling myself, and staring at the same time as well.  Man, she really got to me in a big fashion.  Oddly enough, I welcomed it wholeheartedly.  I think Pamelyn sensed that, too, because she waltzed up to me and really planted a passionate kiss on my lips, stroking my hair gently in a soft manner.  Like any other hero, I did likewise.

After a few minutes we finished.  We, two lonely souls in Time’s grip, became One.

Tired out after an extremely trying and taxing day we slept in each other’s arms.

I just hope Don wasn’t watching all of this.

The embarrassment alone could kill me.

SIX

The next day, feeling refreshed, we awoke to a lovely sunrise.  Pamelyn, my new love, turned to me, a huge smile on her face.  Naturally, she gently blew on my face ostensibly to be funny.  Of course, I didn’t mind it.

“Rise and shine, y’all lovebirds!” a voice sang out.  It was Don.